Perfectionism vs Self-Sabotage

Most people who live caught between perfectionism and self-sabotage do not perceive this conflict as a problem of behavior, but as a personal defect, a failure of character, an inability to act as it should. They see themselves as someone who thinks too much, demands too much of themselves, delays what matters and is frustrated with their own lack of constancy, without realizing that all this is part of the same emotional pattern. This book starts just undoing this mess, because you do not stop because you are weak, indecisive or incompetent; you stop because you have learned that to err is dangerous, that failure has too high emotional consequences and that it is only safe to act when everything is under control.

The more you try to do everything right, there is less space to experiment, learn and advance, and the mind enters a cycle of constant vigilance, evaluating, correcting and anticipating scenarios even before any movement happens. It is at this point that perfectionism begins to turn into self-sabotage, not because you want to fail, but because the fear of making mistakes becomes greater than the desire to act.